Elise Pareezer

DFTBA

81,518 notes

horror movie opening scene

white girl:
i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy:
come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl:
you're just trying to scare me.
white boy:
lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl:
babe what that??
white boy:
i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl:
zack!!!
white boy:
ha ha just kidding!
white girl:
asshole!
white boy:
im just playin babe
white girl:
that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy:
i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl:
zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl:
ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl:
ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen:
BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

287,952 notes

deansass:

the-kellic-ship:

deansass:

dear Australians,

Canada has less people than California alone, and we’re the 2nd biggest country in the world. Gay rights are fully legal, abortion is legal, no racism or descrimination of any kind is allowed, free healthcare, and we have moose. Come live here, we have lots of space!

sincerely,

Canadians

can Americans come too

no

(Source: deansass, via australian-government)

724,935 notes

zeldatits:

darksigyn:

mattg124:

angrynerdyblogger:

straight-up-juggahos:

kendralynora:

buginateacup:

jaydenw:

whitepajamas:

automatonic-absinthe:

isaia:

rosswoodpark:

time-for-maps:

this changes everything oh my god

do you understand why it trips me out that people can drive 45 minutes and be in aNOTHER COUNTRY?I drive for 45 minutes and im like
a city over 

I live in “Italy” and took a day trip to go to “Austria” and “Germany”

 #it is literally impossible to leave texas #you will be in texas #FOREVER

Chums, that’s sweet, and all, but Australia just ate Texas for breakfast. 


If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you aren’t a city over, you’re just 45 minutes away from the city.

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you may not even leave the cattle station.


If you drive for 45 minutes in Canada you may not even leave your driveway.

If I drive 45 minutes in the us I’m just at another mcdonalds

If I drive for 45 minutes in Northern Ireland I’m 10 minutes into the sea.

I can’t drive. 

I will use this post to explain tumblr

I laughed out loud so obviously I had to

zeldatits:

darksigyn:

mattg124:

angrynerdyblogger:

straight-up-juggahos:

kendralynora:

buginateacup:

jaydenw:

whitepajamas:

automatonic-absinthe:

isaia:

rosswoodpark:

time-for-maps:

this changes everything oh my god

do you understand why it trips me out that people can drive 45 minutes and be in aNOTHER COUNTRY?

I drive for 45 minutes and im like

a city over 

I live in “Italy” and took a day trip to go to “Austria” and “Germany”

 #it is literally impossible to leave texas #you will be in texas #FOREVER

Chums, that’s sweet, and all, but Australia just ate Texas for breakfast. 

image

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you aren’t a city over, you’re just 45 minutes away from the city.

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you may not even leave the cattle station.

image

If you drive for 45 minutes in Canada you may not even leave your driveway.

If I drive 45 minutes in the us I’m just at another mcdonalds

If I drive for 45 minutes in Northern Ireland I’m 10 minutes into the sea.

I can’t drive. 

I will use this post to explain tumblr

I laughed out loud so obviously I had to

(via australian-government)